


jealousy

by ThirteenthMouse6572



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Fluff, Gen, Inspired by Real Events, Jealousy, Little bit of Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 08:04:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirteenthMouse6572/pseuds/ThirteenthMouse6572
Summary: jeongin longs for what chan, changbin and jisung have, and talks to chan about the jealousy.





	jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> sort of based on real events the premise and chan's speech are anyway.
> 
> a bit short but it's more of a vent fic than an actual one

jeongin felt like crap, to say the least. it was one of their days off and he should have been excited to spend the day with his members sleeping or watching a movie (probably both), but instead he was jealous over what he decided was one of the dumbest things to be jealous about. outside his bedroom chan, jisung and changbin were curled up on the couch, stealing kisses from one another as some romantic tv show was playing in the background. he knew this because, a few minutes before, he was out there on the arm chair beside the three, giving them longing glances whenever they giggled at one another. he was pretty sure they had seen him looking at them a few times, so he left without an explanation. he wasn't sure if they had seen that.

jeongin realised he was jealous of the three. not in a romantic way, in which he wanted to be a part of their relationship. he was jealous that they hada relationship. he was jealous that they weren't like him. it hurt his chest whenever he saw the three together, acting all cute and couple-y.

he hadn't even realised how long he had trapped himself in the bedroom until chan walked in and let the light stream in. "innie?" he asked. "are you alright?" jeongin looked away from chan and shook his head. "may i come in?" jeongin hesitated, but nodded anyway.

chan sat beside him on the bed, staying silent for a few seconds. "innie, what's wrong sweetheart?" he asked. "i saw you staring at bin, sung and i before. were we making you uncomfortable?"

jeongin was quick to shake his head. "no, hyung. it wasn't you," he said. "i was just being silly."

"what do you mean?" chan asked.

jeongin took a deep breath and sighed it out. "if i tell you, can you promise not to say anything to anyone?" he asked quietly, checking the door.

chan adjusted himself on the bed so that he was sitting perpendicular to jeongin. "i won't tell anyone," he said. "i promise."

"i..." jeongin started. "i don't like being asexual-aromantic." the room was silent for a long few seconds, and jeongin felt the need to explain himself. "it's just, it's just really lonely and i'm kind of..." he trailed off, wondering if he should say it to the person making him feel that way. "i'm jealous. of you, hyung."

chan looked surprised. "why's that?" he asked. 

"you have _feelings_ ," jeongin said, unsure of how else to phrase it. "you can actually have relationships and don't have to be afraid that your partners won't like you because you're just _not normal_." by the end of the sentence, jeongin had his knees to his chest and his face tilted down. 

"innie..." chan sighed, but jeongin interrupted him before he could go any further.

"i don't want you to pity me, hyung," jeongin said. "i'm just annoyed at myself because i hate being asexual-aromantic and wanting a relationship, but at the same time being absolutely terrified of being in one."

the bedroom was silent as jeongin assumed chan was processing all that he had said. "innie," chan said, waiting to see if jeongin would interrupt him again, "you can't change your orientation. not consciously, anyway. of course, sexuality is fluid and maybe one day you'll find out you're not asexual-aromantic, but maybe you won't. we're all here for you, jeongin. internalised anything-phobia isn't anything anyone should go through alone."

jeongin could feel tears running down his cheeks and quickly wiped them away with a quiet sniffle. "we love you for who you are, innie," chan continued. "if you ever feel uncomfortable doing anything, or want to do something, just say. you shouldn't feel uncomfortable in your own home. we love you, jeongin. all of us."

jeongin swallowed the lump in his throat as chan finished his small speech, coating the room in silence. "thank you, hyung," jeongin said quietly.

chan put a hand on jeongin's arm in comfort. "of course, jeongin. anything for you," he said. "are you going to come out for dinner?"

"i'll just stay in here for a bit, if that's okay," jeongin replied, not feeling well enough for food.

chan stood up from the bed and petted jeongin's hair softly. "come out when you're ready, innie."

jeongin nodded and looked up at chan, giving him a weak smile. he watched as chan left the room silently, feeling slightly better than he did before. maybe he should ask 3racha to keep the kissing to a minimum when they were trying to watch a movie. for the benefit of every member.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed!


End file.
